Well...Its another friday night and here I sit with my head burried In my books trying to prepare for another round of quizes and exams. Although I know that through sacrifice and hard work I will become the respected and knowledeable therapist I aspire to be....But somehow I feel that I am missing out on something. Maybe Its the Inner party animal In side that just won't let me focus without reminding me how I miss hanging out and knocking back a few Molsens with the guys. Oh well small sacrifce to make when considering the reward....and I am finding myself thinking of the reward all the time.

In my last post I discussed the Issues I am having with my therapy. I know that It may sound silly but I still can't help but feel that alot of the success I am recieveing from my sessions would have been attained on my own. As much as I would like to discusses this topic with my wife, that source of advice Is a closed outlet due to the fact that she Is really pushing me to up my sessions with Dr. Boardwalk. So I am forced to bore everyone with my continuing thoughts on this subject. I have had an endlesss amount of time to mull this over In my head ( due to the reoccuring sleepless nights as of late ) the Beneifits of my therapy. I have also seemed to come to a conclusion on my next step towards Inner healing and mental homeostasis.

I am starting to strongly believe that all the new changes In my charcter, my determination and focus, and the newly found greater sense of self-confidence. Is due largely In part, of finally understanding what It takes to be successful and knowing the hard work that Is required In getting me there.The smaller portion ( Although small...Its critical ) of this new found growth,  Is finally admitting to myself,  That although I have acknowledged the fact that I was'nt given the guidance and structure to function as a responsible adult. It's ADMITTING that those factors have had a major Impact and Hinderance on my journey to get there. 

I will use this analogy(sp) to help you better understand my wraped thought process on this topic. For years I have had, I believe, the right amount of motivation and drive that Is required In chasing the ''American dream''...MY American dream...Only to find a dead end at the end of every twisting and turning road I found myself travelling down. Every door that I thought I could open with a postive attitude and a willingness to learn was always locked... Leaving me no other option but to Bang my head repeatedly until someone answered. Unfortunately for me...The lights were on but no one was home.

Now....my thereapy has given to me the road map for every street, In every city, so I never find myself going 70mph down the wrong way of a one way street again. It has given me a set of universal keys that will open any door I chose to walk through. And last but not least...A hard hat just Incase I have to knock down a few doors along the way.

So In closing tonite...That Is if your still with me... I am truely starting to see the benefit In my sessions with Dr. Boardwalk. I have finally come to the understanding that I need to address those Impacts and hinderances. So that one day I will be able to soften their blow.....Good Grief !!!